DEPRIVE framework: Destroy the Impostor Script
A cognitive framework to decode, disrupt, and redesign your internal operating system.
DEPRIVE Acronym Breakdown:
Dissect: Break down and capture all fearful thoughts that generate a state of fear.
Examine: Scrutinize each thought to understand its roots.
Pressure-test: Challenge the thought with deep coaching questions.
Reframe: Identify a healthier mindset and alternative perspectives.
Install: Integrate new, resourceful mental models.
Validate: Test your new beliefs through real-world experiences.
Embed: Reinforce the new thinking patterns by creating systems of repetition and reflection.
Purpose of This Book
Hey there,
If you’re reading this, you’re probably feeling the weight of imposter syndrome, and trust me, you’re not alone. I’ve worked with countless individuals across all walks of life - from entry-level front-line workers to C-level executives of multi-million dollar global corporations - and guess what? Every single one has faced it in some form.
I am here to help you arrive at the truth:
Imposter syndrome doesn’t exist.
I wrote this short book to show you that.
Imposter Syndrome is not real. It’s just a label we’ve slapped on the entanglement of thoughts and feelings. When we say “imposter syndrome,” we’re describing a collection of feelings that arise when our minds is overloaded with unprocessed conflicting thoughts.
In this book, I’m going to walk you through a structured approach using a framework I’ve developed. I call it DEPRIVE.
This isn’t just another self-help manual filled with bullshit nonsensical advice. I will show you how to actively engage with your thoughts and learn how to navigate the intricate mechanisms of your mind.
Using this framework, we’ll dissect those fearful thoughts, examine their origins, and pressure-test them with coaching questions. Complete this book and you will be equipped with knowledge how to reframe your perspective, install new beliefs, validate your experiences, and build systems that will engineer a strong and healthy mind into your daily life.
This journey isn’t just about overcoming imposter syndrome; it’s about transforming your very relationship with self - how you relate to your thinking and how you can engineer thinking systems that serve you.
I will be with you throughout this process, every step of the way.
Let’s begin.
Intro: The Importance of Mindset
Let’s talk about the word that gets tossed around a lot these days: mindset.
Every dumbass human capable of writing is screaming on every corner about the importance of mindset, but it is all nonsense. Bumper stickers for shallow people.
The work that we will do is not about having the right mindset or thinking positive thoughts; it’s about understanding the nature of the mind itself.
Your mind is your ultimate tool for reality creation, and how you utilize it will make all the difference in your life.
Here is a mental framework I share with my clients that will help you to think about what my coaching is and how I use coaching to work with the mind.
Your Brain is Hardware
Think of your brain as hardware. It’s the computer you were given at birth. Some of us lucked out to have high-functioning brains. Some of us didn’t. Since you are here reading this, I am assuming that you are the lucky one.
You don’t get to choose your hardware. However, what you can do is learn how to work with what you have. This is where the concept of neuroplasticity comes into play.
Your brain is capable of growth and change. Through education, stretching your comfort zone, and even physical exercise, you can expand your intellectual capacity and improve your thinking skills. Your brain can be shaped, molded, and enhanced, just like a muscle. The more you challenge it, the stronger it becomes.
Your Mind as an Operating System
Next. Your mind is an operating system - think macOS or Windows. You are literally using your mind as your primary tool for reality creation. The thoughts you repeat become your beliefs, and those beliefs, in turn, dictate your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your destiny.
Beliefs are Applications
Consider your beliefs as applications installed on your operating system. Just like software, they can be installed, uninstalled, or upgraded. Many of the beliefs running in the background of your mind are unconscious - they’re remnants of external conditioning. And you have been conditioned by this world. First your parents, then your schooling, then your culture, tradition, religion, etc. Layers and layers of external programming.
Then you grew older, and learned how to condition your own mind.
The books you read, the podcasts you listen to, the thought leaders you follow, the people you listen to - everything left a program in your mind. There are useful programs that help you to deal with this reality. But there can also be a lot of programs that are just sitting there in your subconscious mind, driving your life.
You are the Software Developer
Your language - the words that you use in your life is the programming language for your Mind. The communication you have with Self and the World shapes your reality.
Your internal dialogue - the way you communicate with yourself inside your mind - creates your perception and ultimately creates your reality.
The words you speak become the house you are living in.
You are the software developer of your own mind, the author of the mind-code, and you have the power to write and rewrite that code that runs your life.
The Role of a Coach
As a coach, I operate like a cognitive engineer - part debugger, part systems architect, part co-pilot.
First, I help surface the invisible code running your mind. Think of me as a mental quality assurance specialist. My role is to bring subconscious patterns into conscious awareness. When it comes to mind, you don’t control what you don’t understand. You don’t understand what you don’t observe.
Second, once we’ve identified the underlying meta-programs, we pressure-test them. This is where we challenge legacy beliefs, assumptions, and thought loops to see which ones hold up under scrutiny - and which ones collapse. If the code breaks, it means it was not robust enough, and it gives you an opportunity to write a new program.
Third, I guide you in writing and installing new mental code - mental models that are not only more aligned, but more effective. Through intentional systems design and identity integration, we ensure these upgrades aren’t just intellectual - over time they become your second nature.
This is the architecture of transformation: awareness, disruption, reprogramming.
So…
Basically, coaching is a software update for your mind.
Let’s sum up what we have discussed so far in one visual:
Now, how can we reprogram your thoughts to create the internal states that lead to effective behaviours? These behaviours, in turn, generate experiences that will reinforce or challenge your new thinking.
This cycle is simple:
Thoughts create emotions
Emotions drive behaviour
Behavior leads to experiences.
Each experience feeds back into your thoughts.
It’s a loop.
The beauty of this model is that you can design and engineer this loop to create the life results you want. This is what coaching is about.
Level 1. Engineering your thoughts. Through coaching I help people to build a latticework of robust mental models that they can use for decision-making in life and for intentional creation of internal states.
Level 2. Getting attuned with your emotions. Learning how to be connected with them, work with them, and process them. Understanding your triggers, how your emotional and coping mechanisms work, learning to override them. Create your emotional states by deliberately by design.
Level 3. Building your systems. Everything is a system - thinking how we can create the desired behaviour (sometimes regardless of how we feel or what we think). Learning to execute the system. Work the system so it works your life.
Level 4. Engineering Experience. Experience is not what happened to you - it is your interpretation of what happened to you. Your perception is your ultimate reality. So how can we engineer our own perception? Training the mind to interpret and perceive life events with stoicism, grace, and equanimity.
All this work is a comprehensive process that requires time and commitment.
The DEPRIVE framework is a thinking system that will take you through this process and will give you quick wins if you apply it.
What does DEPRIVE stand for?
Introducing the DEPRIVE Framework
I developed this acronym but the acronym itself matters not. Understand the underlying structured process and it will help you to calibrate the inner workings of your mind.
Keep in mind, the DEPRIVE framework is not some kind of magical process. It is a mental model. This framework is merely a tool to work on your internal programs that often run unnoticed in our daily lives.
Let’s break it down step by step.
D is for Dissect
Here, we dig deep into the fearful thoughts that plague your mind. What’s really going on in there? At this stage, we “dissect” the mind - we are breaking down and capturing all the thoughts that create feelings of fear, anxiety, or uncertainty. We’ll identify the root causes of these emotions and begin to understand the tangled web of thinking that’s contributing to your inner turmoil. Think of this as untangling a fishing line - you can’t utilize the tool if the tool is entangled. At this step, we are disassembling the fear or Impostor Syndrome, extracting individual thoughts, thread by thread.
E is for Examine
Now that we can see clearly what thoughts occupy our mind, we start scrutinizing each thought with a critical eye. Where does this thought originate? What are the underlying beliefs that give rise to it? By examining carefully the roots of your thoughts, we can uncover the hidden narratives that shape our reality. It’s crucial to understand the origin of these thoughts so we can begin to challenge any dysfunctional logic that may be at play. To rewrite the code we need to first understand how it has been written. If we don’t understand our inner mechanisms, it remains impossible for us to re-engineer them.
P is for Pressure Test
How do we know that the logic is dysfunctional? We need to pressure-test the code. This step is where we challenge your thoughts with probing coaching questions. We’ll look at them from every angle and see if they can withstand scrutiny. We are trying to answer one question here: Are there logical flaws in your beliefs? This step is like running a quality check on your mental software - where are the bugs, and how can we fix them? Our goal here is to identify any cracks in the foundation of your thinking that might be causing chaos. Negative emotions are primary indicators that something is not working in the mind.
R is for Reframe
Everything we perceive is going through the mental filters of our perspective. Our perception shapes our reality. In this step, we’ll explore the concept of frames and lenses. How can we change the angle from which we view our beliefs? By reframing our thoughts (replacing the code), we can shift our perception and ultimately change the narrative we tell ourselves. This is a powerful tool for transformation because our narratives is exactly what we experience. We live the stories we keep telling ourselves. Change the story and you will change the experience.
I is for Install
Thinking in a new way is unusual and will be brain-energy-consuming. The mind will resist new ways of thinking, trying to stay in its habitual patterns. This is why we need to be intentional about how we install the new code. Here, we’ll discuss how to introduce new mental models and programs into your mind. It’s not enough to just think differently; we need to ensure these new beliefs are robust, logical, and interconnected within a comprehensive system of thought - your so-called map of reality. This step is about creating a solid foundation for your new way of thinking.
V is for Validate
This step emphasizes the importance of real-life experience. There is no difference between theory and practice in theory. In practice, there is. In practice we create true validation for our new systems of thinking. How can we confirm that our new thinking is taking root? By gathering experiences that support our new beliefs, we solidify them as part of our new identity. It’s about making the abstract tangible. We have a hypothesis that our new thinking will work in the real world. Now, we go to experiment and test new beliefs. This is what validation is about.
E is for Embed
Finally, we reach Embed. Once we have initial confirmation of the validity of our new thinking we need to make sure the new thinking will integrate. This is where we focus on creating systems.
Systems will reinforce our new thinking patterns over time. How do we embed the new thinking into our daily routines and behaviors, so that the process itself drives lasting results? This step is about turning new thoughts into habits that compound over time, leading to sustainable change.
In the upcoming chapters, we’ll dive into each of these steps in detail, equipping you with the tools to tackle any limiting belief.
For the purpose of our discussion, we’ll focus specifically on dissecting and breaking down Imposter Syndrome using the DEPRIVE framework.
Let’s start.
Chapter 1: Dissect
Step number one: DISSECT.
This step is all about breaking down the fearful thoughts that generate the state of imposter syndrome. It’s crucial to look within and understand what’s happening inside your mind. Introspection is key here.
I teach my clients this principle of working with the mind, “You can’t control what you don’t understand. You don’t understand what you don’t observe.” And that’s exactly what we’re doing in this step - you are diving into the depths of your mind to observe the underlying currents of thought.
Think of it this way: your fearful thoughts are like shadow demons, lurking in the dark mazes of your subconscious. All thoughts are unreal. It is your belief that enables the thoughts to seem real and hold so much power over you. Our mission is to catch these shadow demons and bring them into the light. This process may sound daunting, but it is not complicated.
The essence of DISSECTing your thoughts is simple: you need to capture them.
You need to write them all down.
You’re going to give your thoughts a physical form through journaling. I want you to sit down and create a stream of consciousness. Let it flow without any inhibition. Don’t censor it. Don’t edit it. Don’t analyze it. This is not the job.
Thanks to AI and automation, there are now easier ways to do this. You can leverage tools like ChatGPT or Claude to assist you in this process.
Here’s a coaching question for you, one that I would ask if you were sitting next to me:
“Look within. What are the thoughts that create your imposter syndrome?”
You can write it by hand, type it, or just open ChatGPT in front of you, hit record button, and just start talking. Open your mind and let all the thoughts out.
If you are experiencing Inner Impostor, you might say things like, “I’m not an expert in my field,” or “I feel like a fraud.” You could share, “I’m afraid someone will find out I’m not competent,” or “There are so many people out there who are more intelligent and capable than I am.” Maybe your thoughts are, “My achievements aren’t due to my skill; they’re just luck,” or “I don’t feel like I deserve to be here.”
Whatever thoughts come to your mind, I want you to let them flow freely. Speak them out loud or write them down. There’s no need to analyze or judge them at this stage. The goal is just to capture them. Let it all out like a mental purge - pure stream of consciousness, no editing, no filter.
If you’re using ChatGPT, just talk and talk until you feel you’ve expressed everything that’s been weighing on your mind. The more you write, the more accurate your further analysis will be. Keep asking yourself “what else?” until there is nothing else to say.
Once you’ve finished, insert this prompt into ChatGPT just above your recorded notes:
🤖
I am working through my Impostor Syndrome and analyzing all the thoughts that are creating that feeling for me. Analyze my notes. Extract and create a list of individual thoughts and thought patterns that create that feeling for me.
Take a moment to look at what you’ve uncovered.
These thoughts may reveal common themes or beliefs that are shaping your experience of imposter syndrome. This is your starting point - a way to confront the shadow demons (errors in the code) and begin the process of understanding and transforming your thoughts. They are no longer abstract - you got it all out of your system, and you created a physical distance between yourself and the thought.
Chapter 2: Examine
Step number 2: EXAMINE.
In this step, we take a closer look at each thought to understand its roots. This isn’t just about identifying where the thought came from in a chronological sense - like saying, “Oh, it probably comes from my childhood, my parents, or my school.” Understandably so - all our limiting beliefs are coming from the past. This is not what we are trying to understand.
When I ask you “Where is it coming from?” what I really ask is:
What is the underlying thought?
I want you to explore the layers beneath each thought, peeling them back like an onion. Dig one level deeper, then another, and keep going until you uncover the original thought that sparked this chain of thinking. Each thought is connected to another, and by reverse-engineering these connections, you can find the root cause.
It’s important to recognize that all your thoughts and beliefs are shaped by past experiences. But let’s consider what experience really is.
Experience isn’t a concrete entity; it’s a story - a narrative you tell yourself based on your interpretation of events.
In the moment, while you are actually going through the lived experience, your experience is just that: experience. But once the moment is gone, we call it “past experience” and at that point, it morphs into an interpretation, a story that you continue to carry. Some people are stuck in life because they keep telling themselves the same old stories for years if not decades without questioning their validity.
Notice this. Your current way of thinking isn’t fixed; it evolves over time. Think back to 3-5 years ago - your thoughts then were likely quite different from those you have now. Your Concept of Self was different. In the same way, 3-5 years from now, you will be a more advanced thinker than you are today. So how can you expedite this growth
How can you become a superior thinker not in 3-5 years but in just 6 months?
The answer lies in learning how to work with your mind effectively. You are not just subjected to change. You create change - deliberately. You re-engineer your mind. And this is what I will train you to do. We advance our thinking through intentional, deep, high-intensity reflection.
This exercise is about digging into each belief and tracing it back to its origin. What is the underlying thought behind each thought? This is where you can again leverage tools like ChatGPT. Use it to help you articulate your current thoughts and to examine their roots.
Here’s how you can approach this: Start with the list of thoughts you’ve already identified during the DISSECT phase. Take one single thought from that list. Plug it into ChatGPT with the following prompt:
🤖
I want to focus on the thought "{insert the thought from your list} for example: I am not an expert". I want to truly examine it and understand its roots. Can you coach me and ask me coaching questions to help me explore this further? I need to find the origin - the core belief from which this thought originates.
It’s important to remember that this process won’t be perfect, and that’s okay. Self-coaching will not be as good as working with a professional coach but the key is to get started.
No one expects you to do a perfect job here. Working through your own limiting beliefs is the hardest thing you’ll do. No matter how intelligent you are, we all are prisoners of our own cranium. This is why perspective is so important. I would add - the more intelligent you are, the more you are prone to the tricks of your powerful mind. A smart person will create the most rational, most sophisticated reasons why something is impossible. And they will believe it.
Famous physicist Richard Feynman used to say:
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.
By examining your thoughts in critical unattached way, you’re laying the groundwork for deeper understanding and transformation. You’re taking control of your narrative, one layer at a time, until you reach the core of your beliefs.
Chapter 3: Pressure Test
Next step: PRESSURE-TEST.
In this phase, we challenge each thought with deep coaching questions to identify logical flaws. If you are experiencing Impostor, I promise you, there is an error in the code somewhere - hidden in the logic of your beliefs.
Our goal here is to identify where these bugs exist in the stories you tell yourself and the thoughts that occupy the mind. Each thought can be considered a line of code in your mental programming. Just as some lines in a codebase may be ineffective or dysfunctional, so too can our beliefs.
We form our beliefs through various influences throughout our lives. Some beliefs are shaped by our upbringing and conditioning from our parents. Others are absorbed through our educational experiences, societal norms, or cultural influences. At various points in our lives, especially during our formative years, we may not have developed the critical thinking skills to filter the information we receive. Instead, we absorb beliefs without questioning their origins or validity. The world has been lying to us and we are not even aware of it.
This chapter aims to break down the dysfunctional (or not entirely mature) logic that upholds our fears and anxieties. It is important to understand that most people never arrive at quality answers because they don’t know how to ask quality questions.
The quality of your answer is always a function of the quality of your question.
This is what coaching is about - coaching is the science of questioning.
So, how do we pressure test our thoughts? Once you’ve identified a limiting belief, use tools like ChatGPT as your coach.
Prompt 🤖
“Here’s the thought I’m struggling with {insert the thought}, and I want you to challenge this belief. Ask me coaching questions that would help me to identify any flaws in my logic.”
Engage with the questions posed by the AI.
For instance, it may ask, “What evidence do you have for this belief?” or “How does this thought serve you?” These inquiries help you sift through the logic and assess whether your beliefs hold any substance.
Consider also the worst-case scenario: “What’s the worst thing that can happen if this belief were true?” or, most importantly, “What if this belief is not true. What alternative ways of thinking about this might exist?” This question forces you to confront the fearful thoughts that often drive your thinking.
Another crucial distinction to make is between facts and feelings. Many people struggle in life because they have not developed the ability to separate these two. As a result, it leads to confusion and anxiety. For example, let’s take a thought, “I feel I’m not an expert, and people will judge me.” The question to ask here is: “Is this a fact or a an opinion?”
To further dissect your beliefs, challenge yourself with deeper inquiries. Ask, “What exactly is expertise? What’s your definition of an expert?” This prompts you to examine what it truly means to be considered an expert. Oftentimes, we realize we haven’t defined this term for ourselves, leading to misguided beliefs.
The objective of this step is to create a dent in your logic, to challenge your assumptions, and to explore the foundations of your thoughts. By systematically pressure testing your beliefs, you’ll uncover flaws that can be addressed, leading to a more accurate map of reality (the latticework of mental models). That map will create different emotional states, which in turn will lead to different action.
As you move forward, remember: the key to transforming your thoughts lies not only in identifying them but in rigorously challenging and reframing them until they align with a more rational and constructive perspective.
This might be the hardest step for you. Keep at it.
None of the things you believe are true.
It is only true for you because you make it so.
Chapter 4: Reframe
In this chapter, we dive into the concept of reframing.
Reframing involves using different frames or lenses to view our thoughts and experiences.
You may have heard the analogy of “rose-colored glasses,” which symbolizes a positive outlook on life. When we wear these glasses, we perceive the world through a lens that emphasizes the good in people and situations.
Those so-called “rose-colored glasses” (or any glasses/lenses/frames for that matter) are nothing but systems of thinking - mental filters that are installed in the mind through which you perceive yourself and the world. Reframing allows you to shift your perspective - change the mental filter, transforming how you interpret your experiences.
Your perspective shapes your perception, which in turn creates your experience. This experience ultimately becomes your reality. The essence of reframing lies in exploring alternative ways of thinking.
Everyone knows how to think.
A rare human knows how to think about their thinking.
And the highest form of intelligence is to be able to observe your thoughts without judgment.
That is the skill that I am training you to attain, and notice this - I am deliberately using the word “skill”. Everyone can attain it.
Thinking about thinking will become the essence of your self-coaching and foundation of your self-awareness.
To begin this process of building self-awareness, I want you to just reach this 2nd Level of thinking: the ability to look at your thoughts objectively and contemplate them critically.
Just as your current self is a more advanced thinker than you were 5 years ago, your future self in 5 years will be an even more refined thinker than you are now. It won’t happen by accident. It is a promise, not a guarantee. This future version of you will have navigated the challenges you currently face and developed a wisdom and intelligence that informs a different way of thinking.
Accept for a moment that alternative ways of thinking exist. Your perspective is just one among many. What you know as true is only true for you. It is also true for you, only because you believe in it. If you invite other people into your mind to examine your thought process, they may view the same situation differently. Ground yourself in this understanding. If you understand this thing alone - you have already succeeded half-way in establishing your ability to reframe.
Language plays a crucial role in shaping our beliefs. The words you choose create your inner reality. To progress in life you must undergo the constant process of reframing the limiting beliefs that hold you back.
Leverage ChatGPT to generate different perspectives on your limiting beliefs. Start by describing your current thought or belief. Then, prompt the model:
🤖
Here is the current belief I hold {insert the belief or thought}. I understand that there are many alternative ways of thinking about this. What would someone who has transcended the imposter syndrome and doesn’t struggle with it anymore think about this?
The AI will generate alternative ways of thinking that you can adopt. Study the perspective.
Another creative approach to reframing is to engage with your future self: “Right now, I’m grappling with this limiting belief. My future self is wiser and smarter, having already overcome these challenges. What insights might they have? How is their thinking different from my current? How would my Future Self coach me now?”
Journal on this. This exploration will show that all the answers you need are already within you.
Example. Consider a common belief: “I’m afraid of being judged. Who am I to speak? I am not smart enough.” When you think about sharing your ideas or expressing yourself on social media, this fear can feel paralyzing. However, let’s examine this belief more closely. What does it mean to be “intelligent enough,” and what standards are you applying to yourself?
Who is defining what is enough? Who is setting the bar?
How would you know you are enough?
Who are you comparing yourself with? What is your sample size? Why them and not the rest of 8B people on this planet?
What is your definition of intelligence?
Do you know truly intelligent people in your life? What makes them intelligent? What would they say about your belief?
“I am afraid people will come and judge me.”
Notice how this fear often centers around yourself - your image, your worth. In contrast, an alternative way of thinking shifts the focus outward. Instead of fixating on your fear, you could ask yourself, “How can my desire to contribute value to others outweigh my fear?”
When you focus on the fear you focus on the Self. When you focus on Value Creation for others you get lost in the work. There is no more time to think about yourself. You are too busy to building new reality. Limited mindset is focused on lack and deficiency. Growth mindset is focused on how and possibility.
Here is an example of a mental model you can integrate to override the fear of judgment.
The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men.
This, was written by a woman in times when men dominated all work spaces. Think about it.
Another way to do it is to frame a direct question:
🤖
I don’t feel like an expert, and I believe I need to be an expert to share my thoughts. I understand that this thought doesn’t serve me. Can you help me reframe this belief into something more functional?
You can ask ChatGPT again. A must more insightful approach is to interview people who you consider experts in their field. By seeking insights from those who don’t struggle with imposter syndrome, you can gain a more constructive perspective.
That’s the essence of NLP. You find people with stronger (more effective) mental models, and you model after them. You integrate their ways of thinking into yours, and you test them to see how it works for you.
Reframing is not just about changing your thoughts; it’s about reshaping your reality. The idea is not to change the frame, the idea is to develop an ability to acquire any frame/lens you need - to be able to look at any situation from a multitude of perspectives.
You know how to think like You. It is easy, habitual, and requires no energy investment. But can you learn how to think like 10, like 100 different people? This is called divergent thinking - the ability to think how other people think and ability to remember at all times that your own thinking can be flawed.
This is true intelligence.
Chapter 5: Install
As we enter the installation phase, we focus on developing a new mental operating system. Just like an operating system manages various applications on a computer, your mind functions similarly, processing thoughts, beliefs, and experiences.
By now, you’ve explored your current thinking alongside alternative perspectives. You’ve analyzed the various mental programs at your disposal and are ready to shape your reality. Now is the time to create change.
There are two primary ways to create change in your life.
The first involves altering your beliefs and then acting in ways that reflect those beliefs, allowing your new beliefs to inform your experiences.
The second approach is to create experiences that will reshape your beliefs over time.
This chapter emphasizes the first method: changing your beliefs to inspire actions that ultimately transform your experiences.
At this stage, installation requires us to create disruptive mechanisms. We need to break the habitual patterns. I remind you: you can only do that if you are aware of what is happening at all times.
Where there is no awareness, there is no transformation.
You can only transform when you become deeply aware - hyper-aware - of the thought processes that govern your actions. The installation process focuses on implementing pieces of new code designed to disrupt automated thinking.
Automated thinking is the habitual thought patterns we fall back on, the default modes of thinking that feel normal to us. These thought patterns are deeply imprinted and have been shaped by years of conditioning. However, as we’ve established, we have the ability to not just think; we think about our thinking. You are training that ability to develop your own unique code for the mind.
This isn’t about mindlessly repeating mantras or screaming affirmations in the mirror in an attempt to brainwash yourself. Instead, it’s about constructing a mental framework - a set of guiding principles that are aligned with your values.
The easiest piece of code is a quote.
A quote is essentially years of wisdom condensed into one punchy, memorable sentence that represents a mental model.
This is also why we read books, but what we remember is just those single individual lines of code that we take and integrate into our thinking.
Let me give you an example of such a line of code:
Easy choices = hard life.
Hard choices = easy life.
This phrase encapsulates a foundational principle of discipline. It highlights the dichotomy between instant gratification and long-term fulfillment. Let’s reflect on it, and you will understand the deeper meaning behind this piece of code.
Life is hard. Being a human is hard. Making something out of yourself requires effort and tons of inner work.
Consider the realm of physical transformation. Lifting iron, torturing your body in physical pain, eating healthy, stretching twice a day are all hard. Looking in the mirror and hating the reflection you see - feeling disconnected from your own body - is hard. Choose your hard.
Building meaningful relationships - overcoming the fear of meeting new people, putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, being vulnerable, going through breakups - are all hard. Living a life devoid of deep connection is hard. Choose your hard.
Running a business is a grind. Elon Musk calls it “chewing glass 24/7”. It’s filled with complexities, unexpected challenges, and immense stress. It’s hard. But what is the alternative? Not living your values, not achieving financial security, not progressing toward your goals. It is hard. Choose your hard.
If you reflect on this, you will inevitably arrive to this conclusion. One type of hard gets you to great life. Another type of hard is the essence of the miserable one.
You start seeing how you can package this life lesson in one guiding principle - a punchy piece of code:
Discipline = Freedom
Remember: Installing new beliefs is not going to be easy.
The mind doesn’t want to change.
The mind wants to fall back into default mode - the habitual patterns of thinking, the comfort zone.
Do not try to fight the mind. This never works. You will either fail, or it will subside temporarily, and then beat you into submission in the moment of weakness.
We will not fight the mind. We are smarter than that.
Instead, what we are doing is using the mind against the mind. We create new systems of thinking, new principles that will override the old programs when they appear.
What might this new program look like? It has to be a system of thinking with adamant logic - grounded in first principles.
“I have to know it all at once. And I have to get it right the first time!” This is what your mind wants you to believe. But perfectionism is simply another system of thinking - it has been installed at some point but it never matured and evolved into the next iteration.
And the next iteration has to be grounded in pure logic. Emotionless. Cold. Robotic. (This is why we keep using this hardware / software / operating system analogy by the way. We separate emotions from thought).
And the cold robotic logic says:
It is impossible to know it all. It is simply not human. Maybe before we defined intelligence as knowing a lot of information. But now, in the age of overflowing abundance of information, intelligence is not that. Intelligence is not storing the information in your brain, it is the ability to synthesize it and see patterns. It is not about having a library of problems/solutions in your head. It is about knowing that you can solve it. That’s confidence.
“I have to get it right the first time!” If you look into any skill acquisition, be it playing a musical instrument, basketball, or even learning yo-yo tricks, they all follow the same pattern. And the pattern is simple: you go through learning phases. At first you suck at it. Then you become decent at it. Then you become good at it. Then you become great. Finally, the level of mastery comes. But the journey of mastery never ends. Mastery is an infinite game. You get better for as long as you keep playing. The truth? You can’t get to the “I am good at it - phase” if you don’t push through the “I suck at it - phase”.
You see, thinking like this is a more logical and hence more robust.
You do this reflection exercise long enough and deep enough. Perfectionism will dissolve. And with it, the fear of failure will. The fear will not disappear entirely, it just has to be low enough for you to go out there and do it scared. That’s when experience come into play. You will validate in the real life that you previous logic was flawed.
I know I am walking through this thought process in detail but let me reiterate: I am not here to teach you how to think. I am here to train you how to think about your thinking.
Once you learn that, you will realize that you don’t need to think the way you used to anymore. You can literally reprogram yourself. Rewire the mind piece by piece.
Will it be hard? Absolutely. This is the hardest thing you will ever do.
But you know it already.
Choose your hard.
Disciplining the mind is hard.
Living a life created by undisciplined mind - way harder.
Chapter 6: Validate
Next step - validation.
Time to battle-test your new beliefs in real-world situations to confirm their effectiveness. Up until now, you’ve worked on reshaping your mental operating system, shifting from old, limiting beliefs to new, enabling ones. But beliefs, no matter how powerful they sound in theory, will never integrate unless you confirm them through experience.
As we know that there are two primary ways to shape your reality:
Changing your thoughts, which generates emotional state, which leads to different actions and eventually creates new experiences.
Changing your experience directly by taking actions in the real world, which in turn can challenge or confirm your thinking.
Now, this chapter is all about the second method - we will change your experience - to validate and solidify your new beliefs.
Why Validation Matters
Your mind can grasp new ideas and beliefs, but without proof, they’ll remain abstract. True confidence in your beliefs comes from stacking undeniable evidence that these new thoughts and mental models work in practice.
You have upgraded your mental operating system: you’ve written the new code, but now you are in the testing phase. Just like in software, before you release your code into production (integrate it fully in your mind), you need to run the tests in the real world to see if the new code works and gets you the results you need.
Without real-world confirmation, your new thinking will not integrate. Theoretical understanding isn’t enough. You need to test it, feel it in your body, and see it work in the situations that matter to you.
The Concept of Progressive Overload
Just like in physical transformation, you don’t jump straight into the hardest challenges. If you walked into a gym for the first time you wouldn’t go to lift 200 kg. You will fail or worse traumatize yourself. Instead, you start small - 5 lb dumbells, then 10 lb, and you progressively build the load up. The same principle applies to testing your new beliefs. You start with low-risk scenarios and gradually increase the stakes.
For example, if you have a fear of public speaking (or public writing), your first step wouldn’t be attending a high-pressure, high-stakes event with a 5000 people audience and hopping on stage. Instead, you would start by engaging in low-stakes conversations with trusted peers or family members. As your confidence grows through these interactions, you’ll naturally build up to larger and more challenging scenarios. You progressively overload the mind. You stretch your consciousness.
Designing Your Validation Experiments
Validation is about conducting a series of controlled, real-world experiments that allow you to test your beliefs in manageable, low-risk environments.
Think like a researcher.
Here is the process:
Identify the Belief You Want to Validate: Choose one belief you’ve developed in earlier steps. For example, let’s say the new belief is, “I will write online because I focus on delivering value to others.”
Set Up Low-Risk Scenarios: Start by writing on Medium, Quora, Reddit under a pseudonym. Start validating your ideas to get confirmation that you indeed have substance. Run your tests in environments where importance and risks are low. Low importance = low pressure.
Collect Feedback: As you engage in these situations, pay attention to how you feel, how others respond, and whether the results align with your new beliefs. Create feedback loops. Collect direct feedback from people you trust first. Slowly progress to strangers.
Analyze and Adjust: After each experiment, take time to reflect. What did you do well? What can be done better next time? What have you learned? How can you calibrate the process? As your process gets refined so will your mental models.
Let’s apply this process to imposter syndrome.
Step 1: Identify the Belief: The belief you want to validate is, “I might not be an expert at the moment, but I am capable of becoming and ultimately being seen as an expert in my field.”
Step 2: Set Up the Experiment: Interview people you consider experts in your network. Ask them questions like:
Do you consider yourself an expert?
What is your definition of expertise?
Have you ever experienced imposter syndrome? If so, how did you overcome it?
Step 3: Data: By doing this, you’re collecting real-world feedback from people who have already passed the level of thinking you’re currently on. Through these conversations, you might discovery that many “experts” don’t see themselves as such. They might not even think or apply the word “expert” at all. Instead what they are focusing on is continuous growth, mastery, and progression rather than chasing an “expert” status.
Step 4: Reflect and Adjust: After interviewing multiple people, reflect on your findings. You know how to think like You. Getting a perspective will teach you how to think like them and eventually reinforce your belief that you don’t need to have all the answers to make valuable contribution in other people’s lives.
What we’re doing here is leveraging the real world to provide feedback loops that shape your thinking. Every experiment you conduct provides data. Some results will confirm your new beliefs, while others may challenge them, helping you refine your understanding. Either way, this validation process is how you build unshakable confidence.
Modelling the thinking of others who have succeeded in areas where you are growing will create the desired mindshift. This ties into the concept of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) - understanding how people who have mastered certain skills think and act, and adopting those mental models for yourself.
By talking to people who have already achieved what you’re aiming for, you can learn how they think, how they overcame challenges, and how they validated their own beliefs. You can’t become them, but you can understand and apply the patterns of their thinking to your own life. Execute the thinking and it might take you to similar results.
Your Coaching Question
Now it’s your turn. For each of the new beliefs you’ve developed in the earlier steps, ask yourself (or ChatGPT/Claude)
🤖
What low-risk, low-stakes experiments can I design to test this belief {insert the new belief}?
What situations I can go and create in the real world that will force me to validate my new thinking?
The more experiments you run the more data you will have. The more data you have from the real world, the more accurate is your map if reality. Repeat your map and your beliefs will become fully integrated in your operating system. Over time, you’ll accumulate undeniable evidence of your new thinking, and that’s when transformation becomes undeniable too. This is inevitable - because this is the law of the Universe.
What you think you become.
By systematically validating your new beliefs, you create an ongoing feedback loop between your thoughts and your experiences. This process builds confidence, shifts your perception, and sets you on a path to continuous growth.
The key word here is “systematically”.
And that brings us to the last step of the DEPRIVE framework.
Systems.
Chapter 7: Embed
“You do not rise to the level of your goals; you fall to the level of your systems.”
~ James Clear, Atomic Habits
Embedding is about taking the insights and beliefs you’ve developed and transforming them into sustainable systems that guide your behavior over the long term.
It doesn’t matter how grand is your vision. Clear’s quote reminds us, that it’s the systems you build that ultimately determine your success. Your results in life are a function of the systems you are executing.
What Do We Mean by Systems?
A system is a structured, repeatable process designed to consistently guide behavior toward a desired outcome, focusing on improving processes rather than solely pursuing goals.
In other words, systems are the intentional daily actions, routines, rituals, and patterns that make success more likely by aligning small habits with long-term aspirations. Instead of fixating on reaching a specific goal, we focus on creating and optimizing systems that make progress toward that goal a natural byproduct.
Whether it’s your system for maintaining good health, managing your work, or even organizing your thoughts, these are the routines that, when consistently applied, lead to specific results.
Examples:
• Healthy Teeth: To keep your teeth healthy your system is brushing and flossing twice a day. Having a human who is taking care of your teeth (your dentist) is your system as well.
• Physical Fitness: To stay in shape your system can be three one-hour blocks of time each week, where you move (lift / run / yoga, etc).
• Organizing Thoughts: To create clear thinking, your system is 60-min block of uninterrupted time that you spend writing, and organizing your mind.
These systems don’t have to be complex, they just have to work.
Here are some principles to keep in mind.
Principle 1: You Already Have a System
Whether you’re aware of it or not, everything you’re currently doing in your life is part of your system. If you say, “I don’t really have a system,” that, in itself, is your system. Your daily routines, habits, and rituals are already optimized for the results you’re getting. If you are unhappy with those results, it’s not because you lack goals or drive - it’s because your current system is optimized for those outcomes.
For example, if you feel overwhelmed or disorganized, it’s because your system is optimized to maintain disorganization (or not create organization). Not having structure is your structure. The key, then, is to recognize your existing system and understand how to re-engineer it to achieve better results.
Principle 2: Systems Are Optimized for the Results They Produce
This principle is straightforward: Your system is always optimized for the results it’s currently producing. If you want different results, you need to design a different system. It’s that simple.
Let’s say you want to start waking up early to exercise, but you find it difficult to get out of bed. The problem isn’t your lack of motivation or lack of discipline; it’s that your system isn’t optimized for that outcome.
Potential system deficiencies?
Number 1 is the least obvious. Not having a purpose - a reason to wake up. Your Ikigai. That’s the thinking system that gets you out of bed.
Not having a night routine / system. Calming the mind. Not having a system for preparing the body to sleep / releasing cortisol that keeps the body awake.
Eye mask and ear plugs. This is also a part of a system for deep undisturbed sleep, creating melatonin.
Examine your life. Every negative emotion you experience is signalling compromised value. For every compromised value there is a system in place that is compromising it.
Principle 3: Systems Work When You Work Them
What is the power of systems? The best part is that is the detachment from emotion.
Your system doesn’t care how you feel on any given day. You’re tired, angry, sad, frustrated, or full of energy, or low on energy, you wake up early or wake up late - you brush your teeth. The system works. It is an automated process installed in your daily routine that you follow regardless of your emotional state. You don’t overthink it. You just execute it. And because you do - it works.
This principle of detachment is essential because emotions fluctuate. You can’t rely on feeling motivated or inspired every day to make progress. But if you build a system that’s designed intelligently, you can stick to it even on days when you’re not at your best.
The objective is to create systems that run consistently, allowing you to compound small wins over time. This is where the real power of systems comes into play - just like with money compound interest creates exponential growth over long-enough periods of time.
Warren Buffet accumulated 99% of his wealth over the age of 50. The guy’s been investing since 11. That’s compounding interest at play.
Your micro-habits will compound. It is inevitable. The systems will work if you work it.
Systems for Sustainable Change
Creating systems that lead to sustainable change involves intelligent design. You need to be methodical in identifying the activities that will lead to the greatest impact and turn them into repeatable actions. These actions need to be built into your routine in a way that makes them non-negotiable.
Let’s break it down:
Identify High-Impact Activities: Figure out what behaviours or habits will move you toward your desired goals. Example: to improve your articulation skills you need to have a block of time where you practice transforming your thoughts into words a.k.a writing.
Block Time for These Actions: Put it in your calendar. If it’s not scheduled it won’t happen (e.g. 30 min block of time for morning pages).
Measure Your Progress: Establish key performance indicators (KPIs) for your system. e.g. for writing a KPI of 300 words per day. How will you know if it’s working? Are you making steady progress, or do you need to adjust?
Leverage AI Tools
In today’s world, you have tools at your disposal to help you design and implement systems. Use ChatGPT to prompt you with ideas or create personalized routines.
Example:
🤖
I’m looking to improve my daily routines and establish a system of personal rules and rituals that are optimized with my goals. Help me devise a daily system that includes practical habits and rituals? Suggest ways to optimize my current routines while encouraging reflection on what works best for me. I want to ensure that these habits are sustainable and easy to integrate into my everyday life.
Feed your data to the model before you ask it to design a system. Write about:
your vision (desired reality)
your goals
your values
your current system
The more information you give GPT, the more accurate and tailored will be your new system.
Remember, the intelligence behind the system ultimately comes from your own reflection on what works for you. The real work begins when you start to integrate those habits and make them part of your daily life.
Embedding Through Coaching
As a coach, I am a system.
I am a tool for those seeking to improve their thinking and behaviour.
I am an external source of awareness. I act as a mirror, reflecting back blind spots and your communication patterns that reveal thinking patterns.
I challenge your thinking as an intellectual sparring partner, pressure-testing your logic and helping you refine and strengthen your thinking systems.
And I can also serve as an accountability partner, ensuring you stay on track with your commitments.
Embedding is the critical phase of coaching. It’s the process of taking the insights you’ve learned and integrating it into your life through sustainable systems. And once those systems are in place, they work automatically to reinforce and support new desired behaviour.
Insight takes no time. Integration requires work.
Systems is how you make hard work things easy.
Build those systems intelligently, work them consistently, and over time, you’ll find yourself transformed living by design, not by default.
Conclusion: Becoming a Superior Thinker
This is it.
A quick introduction to the DEPRIVE Framework.
Thank you for taking the time to explore it. Throughout this book, we’ve touched on how each step of this framework contributes to overcoming imposter syndrome.
All this time, you might have been thinking: Why “DEPRIVE”?
It’s simple: you deprive your limiting beliefs of the energy of your attention.
Where attention goes. Energy flows.
Or in other words:
What you focus on expands.
Focus on the impostor thoughts - create impostor states. Focus on creating your desired reality - create resourceful states. Simple.
Keep in mind, this framework is not about the letters or acronyms. It is about the thought process behind it - not just thinking stuff, but learning how to truly think about your thinking, and how to apply this principle in your life.
Your old beliefs are like old clothes you wore when you were a kid - at one point, they fit. But as you’ve grown, they’ve become outdated, no longer aligned with who you are today or where you want to go. So, this framework helps you shed those old, limiting beliefs and find new set of programs that fit your present self, your reality, and the reality you want to create.
DEPRIVE Framework is simple, but the work you will do with it is not.
Take the time to engage in real self-reflection and work through the steps, and it will strengthen your ability to think critically. Reprogramming your mind is a journey. The get out of it what you put into it. You can return to this framework again and again, applying it to not only imposter syndrome but any kind of fear, limiting belief or a mindset that no longer serves you.
With time, you will ground yourself in your new understanding. You will remember at all times:
You are not your thoughts.
Just as your body and experiences have been changing all your life, so too have your beliefs. These beliefs, which form your concept of Self, are not static. They are fluid and constantly transforming. With time you will become a more advanced thinker. With intention and right tools, you can get there much faster.
As a coach, my role is to help people evolve in their consciousness much faster. My job is to be a catalyst.
Some people will get all the insights and lessons they need in life. They will pay for those lessons and insights with the time of their life.
Then there are those who have come to a realization that they can’t afford to pay for life lessons with a chunk of their life - they want to progress faster in life so they hire coaches.
Some people never arrive - they are destined to die in their self-imposed limitations and ignorance (and by ignorance I mean simply not knowing) and never to come close to transcending the mind.
What path will you choose? No need to reply.
The actions you take from here will be the answer to that question.
All I want for you is to apply what you have learned here and be free.
Free from the limitations of your own mind.
This book is just the beginning, I invite you to connect with me further.
I am on the path. And I am committed to creating more resources, materials, and tools that will serve as vehicles for your ongoing development. Whether it’s through becoming a better thinker, speaker, communicator, or leader, this is your journey - and I’m an instrument with a purpose of enabling you along the way.
Reach out, share your journey, and let’s see where this path of growth takes you.
Call to Action: Your Journey Starts Now
This book is my way of giving you a tool that I hope will make a real difference in your life. My only wish is for you to take what you’ve learned, apply it, and create the transformation you seek.
Break free from your limiting beliefs. Be the best version of yourself for the people you love.
Do it for YOU.
Remember: Nothing changes without you taking action.
This framework can only work if you take that first step - start using it in your life.
Reflect, journal, challenge your thoughts, take actual steps to think about your thinking, set experiments, run tests, build systems. Demolish everything and rebuild from scratch if you have to. Rinse and repeat.
Mastery is not 10,000 hours. Mastery is 10,000 iterations.
Iterate long enough, and your mind will become your compliant tool. Not a master puppeteer with you hanging on invisible strings.
As you move through this journey, I encourage you to share your progress. Document your journey, not just because it will help you process and consolidate your experience, but because your story might help someone else who needs this too.
Share to inspire. Share for value. Someone else out there needs this tool. Help them to unblock themselves.
There’s no sales pitch here.
I have nothing to sell to you. If this resonates with you, if this helps in any way, spread the word. Share it with others, talk about your journey, and let’s take those we care about with us on this path of true transformation.
This is your way. I am just an instrument in your toolbox. So take the first step. Apply what you’ve learned.
And be free.
The Mind is just an illusion.
You are not your thoughts.
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