My dearest Self,
That first gasp of air burns your lungs.
The shocking cold against your new skin.
The blinding light.
I remember it all - the raw beginning of this life, just as I remember the million before it.
I am here to write to you, but I am not above you, trying to impose some wisdom from a lofty height.
I am You.
Simply you who have walked through countless lives, having worn every imaginable skin, having both inflicted and endured every joy and wound known to humanity. See me not as your guru but as your equal speaking across time.
These words aren't prescriptions.
They're echoes - fragments of truth your soul has discovered and forgotten countless times. Some will slice through you immediately. Others will wait like dormant seeds conserving themselves for the moment when the soil of your experience is ready for their flowering.
I. The Nature of Reality
After a million lives, I can tell you that reality is both simpler and infinitely more complex than it appears:
Reality is perception. I once believed the world was fundamentally cruel and watched as it faithfully delivered evidence of this belief day after day. In another life, I saw the world as sacred and even in war zones found moments of inexplicable grace. Your mind doesn't merely observe reality - it creates it, shapes it, filters it through the prism of your deepest beliefs. Change the filter, and the universe shall respond to you with a different face.
Duality is an illusion, but a necessary one. This separation you feel is not merely convenient - it is the friction that allows the flame of consciousness to manifest itself. Without the illusion of otherness, awareness could not know itself. Like waves convinced of their separation from the ocean, we forget our true nature to experience the limitation of the form. The boundaries that define you are simultaneously real and completely transitional. Honour them - they make your human experience possible. See through them - they are the veil between you and everything that is.
Everything is impermanent. I built kingdoms with my bare hands and watched them crumble to dust while my heart still beat. I've clutched desperately to love, to beauty, to meaning - only to feel them dissolve between my fingers. I've seen stars die and galaxies collide. After a million lives, I tell you with absolute certainty: nothing lasts. And yet, this impermanence is not a tragedy but precisely what gives each moment its unbearable poignancy. The flower is not beautiful despite its brief life but because of it.
II. The Art of Being Human
The human vessel is not some mistake to transcend but a miracle to inhabit fully:
Your body is not a possession but a relationship. Your body will fail you, and save you too. Again and again. It will betray you with illness. It will surprise you with resilience. In one life, I hated my body until the moment it was taken from me. In another, I knew myself as nothing but body until suffering taught me otherwise. Your flesh is not a machine carrying consciousness but a living intelligence with wisdom beyond thought. Listen to it. The body keeps a more accurate record than your mind - its sensations are doors to the truths your intellect will never be able to grasp.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. I've been tortured and celebrated, burned and rebuilt. I loved fiercely. I was abandoned completely. Pain in all its forms is woven into the fabric of existence. But suffering - it’s different. Suffering is what happens when you resist the inner pain, when you construct stories around it, when you build all your identity from those stories. Pain simply is. Suffering is what the mind creates around it. Learn to embrace pain like an old friend. She brings difficult but necessary gifts.
Presence is the greatest power. After living through countless moments - some magnificent, some heartbreaking, some most ordinary - I've found that the ability to be fully present is the most transformative ability you possess. In presence, fear dissolves, clarity emerges, and the illusion of separation gets thinner. One moment of complete presence contains more reality than years lived on autopilot. When you're fully here, you become the gate through which the infinite infuses the finite.
Attention is not just precious. Attention is life itself. Where attention goes, energy flows. Where energy flows, your reality forms. After a million lives, I've learned that what you consistently focus on is what you become. Most humans scatter their attention like coins to beggars, never realizing they're giving away the essence of their life itself. Guard your attention fiercely. What you feed grows. What you starve dies. The quality of your attention determines the quality of your life.
III. Relationship with Others
Through countless connections across the ages, here is what I've discovered:
Everyone you meet is yourself in disguise. The ones you despise most are carrying mirrors that are too heavy for you to lift, yet. I lived as beggars and kings, saints and sinners, victims and perpetrators, and I've learned - there is no "other." Every person you meet is a possibility of you within your own consciousness. The qualities you admire most in others are the dormant abilities within yourself. The behaviours that trigger you reflect disowned aspects of your own psyche.
Connection is why we're here. I've lived lives of isolated perfection and interconnected messiness. I've been hermits and lovers, prisoners and kings. Through it all, I've found that meaningful connection is the most reliable source of fulfillment. Not accumulation of material wealth, not worldly achievement, not pleasure-chasing. Nothing but the profound meeting of self and other in full presence. To truly know another and to be known - that is the pinnacle of human experience.
Judgment doesn't just imprison you - it amputates your soul. With each life, I discovered again and again how my judgments of others didn't protect me but mutilated my own capacity to understand reality. Judgment doesn't just create barriers to understanding - it cuts off the paths of your consciousness that could connect you to the fullness of being. Every time you label someone as "wrong" or "bad," you close the doors on the opportunity to understand the complex truth of their humanity - and by extension, your own.
Forgiveness is freedom. I once forgave a man who destroyed everything I loved, only to realize later he had freed me from a life I was too afraid to leave. I have walked the paths of the victim and the perpetrator. I have carried grudges across lifetimes and experienced the liberation of letting them go. Forgiveness is not about allowing harm to be done to you. It is about freeing yourself from the resentment games that your mind is playing. It is an act of recognition that holding others prisoner inside the cage of your judgment means making a conscious choice to live in the same very prison as their jailer.
IV. Finding Purpose
After pursuing countless paths, here is what matters:
Purpose isn't just created - it's suffered into being. In a million lives, I never once "discovered" my purpose. My purpose was never external to myself. I have found that purpose emerges through the friction of existence. It arises as a byproduct of the grinding of your essential nature against the rough stone of reality. It isn't found through comfortable contemplation. It is forged in the fires of lived experience. Your purpose is waiting for you at the intersection of what brings you alive and what serves life around you.
Meaning comes from contribution. I have lived lives of hedonism and comfort that felt hollow. I lived lives of great hardship that overflowed with meaning. The difference was never my external circumstances. The difference was in contribution. What made my life meaningful was the experience of offering something of value that transcends the small self. Find ways to give that energize you. Eliminate the activities that deplete you. Do that, and the sense of meaning will never be scarce.
Fear offers safety. Fascination demands your death and rebirth. Fear will always offer you a compelling path, usually one that promises stability and certainty. After countless lives, I've learned that following your genuine curiosity and sense of awe and wonder leads to far greater fulfillment than following the direction of fear. Fear preserves. Fascination transforms. Transformation always requires something in you to die, for something new in you to be born.
Creation is our highest calling. Whether through art, business, relationship, community, or the cultivation of your own consciousness, the act of bringing something new into being is the most divine human ability. We are not merely creatures but creators, designed to participate in the ongoing emergence of reality. Occupy yourself with the process of creation. Create something - anything really. Create with love, create with intention. The Universe did not birth you to be a passive observer.
V. The Inner Journey
Your consciousness is the most important landscape you'll get to travel to:
Most of your thoughts are not yours. They are the products of external conditioning. For many lives, I believed my thoughts defined me, only to discover they are more like weather passing through the sky of awareness. Most thoughts that live inside your mind are just echoes, parasites, inherited griefs. They are not personal creations but recycled fragments of culture, societal and parental conditioning, biology, and collective consciousness. This shall be one of your most important epiphanies in your life. You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness that witnesses them.
Emotions are rivers. You can build dams and drown. Or, you can learn how to swim. Each inner state carries information. Your emotions are constantly talking to you - about your needs, boundaries, values, and wounds. Don’t suppress emotions but don’t let them drag you into their current either. Instead, investigate them with curious attention. Extract their wisdom without becoming identified with their energy. After a trillion emotional storms I have lived through, I can tell you: all emotions pass when fully felt.
The most dangerous beliefs are the ones you don't even realize you hold. What you deeply believe (often unconsciously) creates filters through which you perceive and experience the world. Life after life, I watched how shifting core beliefs transformed not just my internal experience but how reality itself seemed to respond to me and change in my perception. The beliefs that most invisibly shape your reality are precisely the ones you've forgotten to recognize as beliefs at all.
Identity is a costume. Wear it lightly. The self you so strongly believe yourself to be is nothing but a mental construct - a character in the story of this particular life. It can be a self-destructive construct. Or it can be useful. Honour this character, develop its skills and abilities, listen to its needs and attend to them thoughtfully, but remember: you are not this character. You are the awareness in which this temporary identity appears, like a wave on the surface of an infinite ocean. Identity flows and evolves all your life. The True You - the Awareness - remain unchanged.
VI. Practical Wisdom
I wouldn’t leave you without practical wisdom. Across a million lives, this is what has been proven consistently valuable:
You will stagnate on the path of understanding if you abandon the wisdom of your blood and bones. Whatever you seek to change or understand, start with embodiment. The body is not separate from the mind. As consciousness, you will see it clearly - the body is a part of your mind. Movement, breath, and somatic awareness provide the most direct path to transformation. A million lives has taught me: disembodied insight does not create lasting change.
Sometimes life demands you roar your way forward. Sometimes it demands you fall to your knees and disappear. The most effective approach to life balances the masculine energy of focused will with the feminine energy of open receptivity. There are times to be assertive - to structure, and strive, and then there are times to be soft - to allow and flow. Wisdom lies in discerning which energy the moment calls for, and then courage in embracing whichever feels most foreign to your nature.
Trust the knowing that arrives before language catches up. Your intuitive knowing speaks in the language of sensations, images, emotions, and direct cognition. It does not announce itself as "intuition". Most of the time, you will sense it as quiet certainty beneath the mind's chatter. With each life, I had to rediscover how my deepest intuition communicates. I have learned to receive that knowing through dreams, body sensations, sudden insights, or persistent “whispers and signs”. Learn to recognize the particular dialect of your own intuition. It will serve you well in life.
The real wars are fought inside you, in places the mind fears to look. What remains unconscious will control your life, and you will call it fate. What becomes conscious can be integrated. The shadow material you refuse to examine and integrate doesn't disappear. It operates autonomously, creating patterns of self-sabotage, ego projections, and suffering. After countless lives of repeating the same unconscious patterns, I can assure you: bringing awareness to what you've kept hidden is the most direct path to freedom.
VII. Navigating Challenge and Change
Through ages of witnessing the transformation of life, here is what I've learned about facing difficulty:
Acceptance is not resignation. It's the death of the one who prevents the attainment of real power. Resistance to what is creates suffering and prevents change. Paradoxically, true transformation begins with complete acceptance of current reality. This doesn't mean accepting your defeat. It simply means creating a foundation of truth from which effective action can emerge. A million lives has taught me: what you resist persists; what you embrace transforms.
My greatest growths were born from the ashes of my proudest constructions. The most significant mind expansion across my many lives has always come through what initially appeared as devastating failure. The dissolution of one reality creates space for a greater one to emerge. When everything falls apart, don't rush to rebuild using the old blueprint - wait for a new vision to reveal itself in the emptiness.
Mastery demands ego-death. Not once. Again and again. Before every significant evolution in consciousness, there comes a point where you will find that the old strategies fail you completely. It will not be a partial failure but a total collapse of the previous approach to life. In the space of that collapse, if you can resist the temptation to immediately implement new strategies, a breakthrough becomes possible. After a million breakthroughs, I can tell: they do not arrive through striving; only through surrender.
Death is not the end of you. Death is the end of the illusions you mistook for you. Having died in countless ways across a million lives, I can assure you that what you fear as annihilation is merely transformation. The form changes. Consciousness continues. Small ego deaths throughout your life will prepare you for the large one. Each time you will find yourself allowing something to end completely without rushing to replace it - this is how you will practice the art of dying into new life.
VIII. The Essence of Wisdom
Distilled to its essence, here is what a million lives has revealed:
Love is not kindness. Love is what you are. Beneath the appearance of separation lies a unified field of consciousness whose nature is love. Not the emotion or attachment we typically call love, none of that nonsense. But Love as the fundamental recognition of non-separation and universal unity of all - the direct experience that All is One. Every religion, every spiritual tradition, points to this same One Truth, obscured by dogma, terminology, language and cultural flavour, but discovered anew by every being who is serious enough to look deeply enough.
Reality wounds and heals you in the same breath. Trust the breath. This doesn't mean accepting injustice or avoiding action. Not at all. Rather, it's the profound recognition that reality unfolds according to laws and patterns far beyond your mind's comprehension. No matter how smart you are, the reality is inphathomably more complex than your ability to intellectualize it. Accept this. After witnessing countless entanglements of cause and effect across a million lives, I've seen how even the most painful events serve evolution in ways impossible to recognize from within the limited perspective of a single isolated mind.
You have always been free. You just believed that the chains were real. The liberation you seek is not something to attain but to recognize. Like a fish searching for water, you look everywhere for what already surrounds you completely. Awakening is not an achievement to strive for. It is simply a recognition of what has always been true: consciousness is already free, already complete, already perfect. The journey of a million lives leads to what was always here and now - even before you make the first step.
This moment is your altar. Worship by being fully here. Despite the vastness of a million lives, despite the illusory nature of time itself, this precise moment of your awareness is infinitely significant. How you show up right now - the quality of your presence, the content of your consciousness, the choices you make from awareness rather than conditioning - this is what the entire journey is about. A million lives distilled to this: the eternal is now.
As you begin this new life, I am not sending these words from some distant realm.
I am the Awareness reading these words through your eyes right now.
The wisdom of a million lives flows through your veins already.
Hot. Alive. Accessible in the moments when the thinking mind fades away.
You will forget these truths - that forgetting is part of the journey.
You will remember them again - that remembering is exactly why you are here.
I love you exactly as you are. Exactly where you are.
After a million lives, I've learned there is nowhere to go, nothing to achieve, and no one to become.
There is only this moment, this awareness, this opportunity to fully embody the love that you already are.
Wake up and roar.
And be still.
With all love,
Your Self Across a Million Lives
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